t-r-u-t-h's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Write them down. I saw a picture today of a beautiful blue rolling sky. There we clouds. Big, white, puffy clouds that make a person think they could reach out and touch them. The caption read \"I miss this place, with you,\" and that made me sad. I wondered who he missed. Was it a loved one, was it someone he'd hoped to love but never got the chance to tell her in the right way? I wondered if anyone would see these beautiful things and wonder where I was, wonder how I was faring and wonder if they'd ever have a chance with me again. I doubt it. Who has loved me? Truly loved me? I don't know. No one I think. I don't know if there's a soul in the universe who has seen every side of me, looked at me and said \"Yeah, she's amazing.\" I want to do so much with my life. I think about all of the things I want to do, I think of ways to work through it all and make sure that everything fits tightly into my little life... and yet I don't go for any of it. I find things out, research and even begin to make and attempt... but really, in the end all my little life is are fantasies and day dreams that are whisked away in the wind before I have a chance to write them down. I should write a list of goals. Things I really, really wanna do. I want to act. I want to be in at least one play where I'm the lead. I'd practice. I could do it. I also want to write a good story... and drive... I want to learn to drive and buy a car. I want to be a cousellor to the people of SAFE, too. I want to be so busy doing things that I enjoy that I don't have time to think twice about things that don't matter. I want to lead a life that is mine. I want to be good at what I do and enjoy it. I want to be deep again. 11:45 a.m. - 2006-04-26 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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