t-r-u-t-h's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- \"dont stop believin\" It's amazing how much I don't miss him yet. I think I will be able to be strong through this. I haven't even felt a pang of pain since yesterday after he made it perfectly clear he was through with me. When I got back from the concert yesterday I felt... well, emotionally great but physically like crap. So I undressed, but on my pjs and just left my room in a huge mess, sat down at my lappy here. I noticed Richard was away and idle and had been for a long time so, avoiding conversation, but knowing it needed to be done, I apologized for loosing control of myself yesterday and admitted to being a little immature about the situation. I ended it with have a good night. Well, about an hour later Richard gets on mobile and sends me a message saying "dont stop believin" so I ask, "in?" and he says "us" and I tell him "...We'll see... I'm going to bed now. You can talk to me later if you want. Good night." and he said "bye". Now... What I really wanted to say when he told me "don't stop believin in us" I wanted to smack him across the face and walk away. Too bad it was online and on the phone though. So, all things considered what I wanted to say was "Too late. Leave me alone." but I didn't. I was polite because I didn't want to hurt his feelings. I was mature about it but still. After telling me earlier in the day that he never wanted to be with me again and never to call him again he could say that to me?? I don't understand it but whatever. If we ever do get back together it will be after a loooong time and a loooot of work. So I guess we'll see. I know he'll read this and that kind of bothers me. I mean, I know he'll read this and not understand it and twist it into something really bad but oh well. That's his choice. I don't care what he does.
5:10 p.m. - 2005-11-19 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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