t-r-u-t-h's Diaryland Diary

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Going, going, gone.

He wrote and entry about me. He wrote it the morning after we had our fight. I was really happy to see that he had done that. I now know that showing the world our business and my feelings bothers him and I'm sorry for that. I would stop doing it if I felt that I could but I know I can't.

I want to feel heard, even if no one is reading this I want to be heard by someone. He's right when he said that I dont trust him anymore. But he also missed, and maybe forgot, the fact that I have a hard time saying things, speaking them aloud... I've had trouble with that since the very beginning and I've tried to become better about it but it's so fucking hard when I feel like I'm throwing myself to the mercy of whoever is listening to me only to to find out later that I was never heard at all. It makes me sick and it embarasses me more than anything has ever embarassed me before. I feel like a jackass that they couldnt take ten minutes for.

I hear people when they speak to me. God damn it. I'm upset now. I have to go.

10:06 p.m. - 2005-12-04

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