t-r-u-t-h's Diaryland Diary

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Choices to make.

I expect Richard to be here within the next two and a half hours. That's right, he's on his way here right now and unless something bad has happened he should be here by 11:00pm.
Now, I know there are a few of you going "huh? why is he coming?" and it's because if he didn't we wouldn't be together ever again. I had told him after the second time he broke his word to me that if he did it again we would be over and done with, there would be no more us. Well, I dont know if you know the story because I may have writen it already but two weeks ago he told me "for sure" he was coming to see me over New Years weekend. Then, last thursday he told me he definitely wasn't. I kept my calm when he said that to me and made sure he was serious and then after we got off the phone I wrote him an email reminding him about the whole situation and what was going on and after that we didn't talk for three days, at all.
Then on Christmas Eve he called me and told me he knew he was supposed to be with me and he would find a way to come up. I told him whatever he wanted to do was up to him and now here he is, on his way up. My hopes still aren't up and I probably won't be extremely excited until I see him but it's still so weird.
We haven't seen eachother in about three months so I dont know how things will go. It's bound to be interesting though.

Have you ever had one of those moments where you realize you really are a mature adult? I had one of those today.

My mom was doing this on again off again kind of parenting that she usually does and it was starting to really piss me off. So what do I do? I blow up on her. I don't scream but I definitely raise my voice and I tell her exactly what I've been thinking for the last few months about her and her parenting skills and she keeps telling me not to disrespect her and that she's going to put me in my place and of course I tell her she hasn't earned her respect and that she's the one who needs put in her place and I'm the only one brave enough to do it. So we argue and I dont know what the hells going to happen so I continue doing the laundry after just walking away in the middle of it.
Well, my grandma calls and I talk to her and she tells me she'll call back after my mom leaves and I stand there, thinking about everything I realize that I really shouldnt have said the things I said the way I said them. If I really wanted to get my point across it would have to be in a calm way.
So I walk out of the Laundry room and into the living room and I apologize to my mother for the way I was talking to her. Not the things I said. But how I had said it. It made things better and it really showed me that I was becoming an adult in more ways than I had thought I was.

Interesting, non?

8:30 p.m. - 2005-12-29

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